Panned aura rocks

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Legend has it that, once upon a time, all of the most horrific evils in the world were gathered together and buried deep within a mountain tomb. Encased in phosphorescent rock in the bowels of the planet, they were trapped for all eternity. Unfortunately, no one ever noticed the stream running through the completely secret and impenetrable prison. So, as luck would have it, small chunks of ultimate nastiness will periodically wash to the surface. I wouldn't touch it, though. It's pure evil.

Type: combat item
Autosell value: 60

Cannot be discarded
Can be autosold
Can be traded
Can be stored

Plural: clusters of panned aura rocks

Obtained From

Combat Messages

Successful Attack(s):

  • You throw the panned aura rocks and you and your opponent are suddenly engulfed in a sea of green fog. You hear the voices of motivational speakers (there's simply no mistaking their high-energy, you-can-do-it voices), but can't make out what they're saying or where they're coming from. When the fog clears, your opponent is rocking back and forth on the ground, muttering "I am a skilled metal worker. I am a skilled metal worker." over and over again. Looks like his psyche has taken at least (X) DAMAGE!
  • Amidst the dense green fog which issues forth from the panned aura rocks as they break near your opponent, undulates the sexiest creature to have ever been filmed against their knowledge for money. Your opponent can't help himself and vigorously attacks your rock creature. Jennacide! Unfortunately there is an explosion.
"Local Sharp Miner Injured for (X) DAMAGE In Motorboat Accident. Film at eleven."
Boy, that's heartbreaking.
  • You cast the panned aura rocks before swin... er... your opponent. A potentially, but probably not entirely, noxious green gas is emitted along with a score of over-zealous moral guardians carrying picket signs with phrases like "Hugs Not Drugs", "I'm Right, You're Wrong" and "I'd Rather Be Fishing But Since You Can't Keep It In Your Pants I Have To Spend My Weekend Carrying Around This Sign To Make Sure You Know Where You're Probably Going When You Die" written on them. Apparently there's no character limit on picket signs.
Everyone is entitled to the opinion of this group, and that's unfortunate for your opponent since the group's opinion currently seems to be that your opponent deserves to take exactly (X) DAMAGE... in the name of decency, of course.
  • With a fanfare and billows of deep green smoke, War rages out of your panned aura rocks, sets up stage and proceeds to spill the wine all over your opponent for (X) DAMAGE!
  • You hurl the panned aura rocks at the ground and from the dense green vapours that pour forth, Hilter in a tu-tu pirouettes toward your opponents and verbally berates them. "MEINE GÜTE!" he screams, "DASS EINE GROßE ANANAS!!!!!" It doesn't make sense to you... heck, you're not even sure how "ß" is pronounced... but it hurts your opponent for (X) DAMAGE!
  • Pestilence spills from the panned aura rocks as they burst before your opponent. Pestilence in the form of bubonic plague. Well, a bubonic plaque to be completely specific. It hangs decoratively in the air and infects your opponent with nasty looking boils for (X) DAMAGE! Ewww.
  • Your panned aura rocks break against the ground and Kathy Bates' Nude Scene in "About Schmidt" lumbers across the screen of what passes for your opponent's eyes.
Your opponent dies.
Of course not. Nothing ever really dies around here. If anything was gonna do it though, that would.
In reality, your opponent takes (X) DAMAGE and goes hunting for brain bleach.
  • You throw the panned aura rocks at your opponent. They strike the ground behind him and burst open with massive amounts of green smoke, laser lights and driving bass. The Spirit of Techno races forth upon a scooter and kicks your opponent with his raving shoes for (X) DOOF DOOF DAMAGE!
He cries invisible tears and calls for his mummer.

Failed Attack:

  • Chucking the panned aura rocks, you stare as they break near your opponent. From the billowing green vapour which pours from them, Internet Porn strides forth. Unfortunately your opponent is rather jaded and he just chuckles


  • Deals 35-50 damage.


  • The horrific evils of the world being gathered together references the Greek myth of Pandora's Box.
  • "You cast the panned aura rocks before swin... er... your opponent." refers to the phrase "cast pearls before swine", which implies that things should not be put in front of people who don't appreciate their value.
  • "Apparently there's no character limit on picket signs." is a possible reference to the character limit on the wall of scrawl. The sentence preceding the line is over that limit.
  • The attack message about War refers to the song Spill the Wine" by the band War.
  • Hitler's scream translates to "My goodness! That's a big pineapple!". This is a reference to the movie Little Nicky.


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